Friday, March 29, 2013

Birth Story

Thank you to Two Writing Teachers for hosting this annual challenge.

Once upon a time, two and a half weeks ago, my son told one of his teachers at school that he was planning to commit suicide.  Not only had he thought about it, he had considered three possible ways to go about it.  He had said that he tried to tell me that he was feeling very sad, but he couldn't get me to understand how much he was hurting.

He is 12 years old.

We had been working on his anxiety for some time, seeing a counselor regularly, and he had begun medication to treat the visible onset of depression.  We had strategies in place, and I felt like we were making progress.  I wanted to make progress.  I was determined to make progress.  Until that day, I was not willing to accept anything but progress.

That day he was begging for help.  That day I opened my ears and listened.  That day my husband and I drove him to the hospital.  That day was the hardest day of my life.

Now we are in the After.  After his discharge, I told him about his Birth Day.  That day was one of the best days of my life.  My third baby, my last baby, he arrived full force in a hurry.  We barely made it to the hospital in time.  No meds, no epidural, I barely made it to the bed before his head began to crown.  I wanted him to know every detail of that moment he arrived in our lives.  I wanted him to experience the joy of his birth story.  After he was born, our lives were forever changed for the better.

His Story is important.  Ever After should be full of life and adventure and hope.  Now his adventure will continue.  He knows it won't be easy-- he will have battles and struggles along the way, but the light has returned to his eyes.  He will continue his Ever After.

10 comments:

  1. Saying prayers today for your son and your family. I hope God's grace will enter in and shine a light on his path. I felt the heartache and longing in your post. We all know things will get better. I hope your son continues to see that light, love, and hope in your eyes.

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  2. Thank you for sharing your story with us, that took courage and faith in this writing community. My son has struggled with anxiety and depression, too. He has been hospitalized, and we are on a slow path to recovery and hope in his own Ever After. The first challenge is to do what you have already done - be open to what he is feeling. The very fact that he spoke up, owned his feelings and felt safe enough to talk about them is full of hope. All the best wishes to you and your family.

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  3. I'm so glad that your son opened up to someone, so glad he got the help he needed, and is now on the road to recovery. I love that you told him the story of his beginnings. Your family will be in my prayers.

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  4. Thank you for sharing your post. It breaks my heart and scares me at the same time. Will I have my ears open? Would I know how to get help? You've done exactly what he needs. To share his wonderful gift, to let him know that he matters and to be there for him when he thinks he doesn't. Best wishes.

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  5. So much is contained in this small slice. So much worry, so much hope, so much love.

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  6. Thank you for sharing this hard, touching story. I am so glad things are better and you have moved to the After - beyond that hardest day of your life. I hope that each day gets better and easier, and that happy adventures find their way into your lives without so many battles and struggles. So blessed to have the light return to his eyes. I will be praying for you and for your precious son.

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  7. This slice was so difficult to read. I'm so sorry that you and your son are experiencing such a hard time. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that writing about it helped you to cope and to deal with what to do next. I hope that writing about it helped you to reflect and see that as his mom you are doing everything possible to help him have his ever after.

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  8. My heart goes out to you. I have been that teacher and I know the dark place where depression lurks. I am sure you are reading about his condition and educating the family and yourself. Knowledge is power and it can sometimes help lessen the fear of it. I will keep your son and family in my prayers.

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  9. This must be such a difficult time for all of you. He made a positive decision to talk - and now he can get more help.
    I will add you and your son to my prayers. God bless.

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  10. My prayers are with him and the rest of your family. So very sad. I pray he can hang in there! Tell him we are rooting for him!

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