Sunday, September 27, 2009

My Nemesis

This week, as I am still in assessment mode at work, I thought I'd focus on the homefront.  Laundry has always been a struggle for me, as I have never enjoyed doing it.  The main reason it confounds me is because it is never finished.  I have struggled all of my life to finish tasks. 

In college, during one of my psychology courses, I finally found out why I need to focus to complete a job.  I am right-brained, and I have an abstract/random personality.  Right brained people are not sequential, going from point A to point B in a straight line.  They tend to be more creative, free-thinking, and can see the "big picture."  However, they (i.e. I) have a difficult time with following a logical sequence of steps.  Hence, they (i.e. I) don't always finish what they start.

I have combated this right-brained tendency by using strategies like writing lists, planning on a calendar, and making schedules.  For the most part, this has helped me.  For example, I decided to fill in a meal-planning calendar, so that I can plan my grocery shopping trips and cook healthy meals for my family during the week.  It has worked out very well so far, and it is a relief to know the answer to the question, "What's for dinner?" after a long workday.  I enjoy cooking (and eating), though, so this intervention has been motivating and rewarding for my right-brained tendencies.  After all, I am creating delicious, artistic cuisine and sharing it with the ones I love, right?

However, to me, this philosophy does not apply to doing laundry.  I do not enjoy it.  It does not give me joy.  It never ends, and I have no satisfaction upon its completion, because it is never complete.  This may seem like a contridiction to my right-brained tendency to not finish tasks, but I contend that laundry is a job for left-brained people.  First, it is sequential, because you have to wash and dry it in a logical order.  Next, it is practical, because you have to wear clothes, and if they are muddy and smelly, nobody will want to be around you.  It is also based in present day.  Laundry doesn't care about tomorrow or the grand scheme of life.  It just exists.  It exists to torment me.

So, in the spirit of trying to make laundry more right-brained, I decided to personify it.  I mulled it over, and made it into a poem.  I still loathe it, but now I can identify with its character.  I even care about it a teeny tiny bit.  Here's my tribute to my nemesis, the laundry:

My Nemesis

It lurks in dark places, watching, waiting
And while I'm not looking
It grows like the swelling tide
Laughing its muffled laugh, draining away all of my cheer,
As its downy arms reach out and send
Its foul-smelling spawn throughout the house.
It creeps under beds,
Behind couch cushions,
To the back of closets,
And is so bold to wander out in plain sight
While its button eyes watch and zipper teeth grin at me, taunting, shouting...
Try to gain control of me... just try.

In the spirit of conquering the beast, I am off to the land of grass stains and mud.  I must separate the dark from the light.  Good Tide-ings to all.

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